Oh, look. Another person asking you what your favorite color is as if "yellow" was ever a valid option. Save your breath and let this shirt do the gatekeeping for you. It features a curated list of every shade of black known to the coven—from "Obsidian" to "The Void"—because we both know "Charcoal" is just black that’s given up on its dreams.
It’s the perfect attire for staring blankly into the distance, attending a séance, or pretending you don't see that person waving at you in the mall.
The Palette of Despair
Comprehensive List: Includes Pitch, Midnight, Ink, and Ghost Black. Yes, they are different. No, we won’t explain why to mortals.
High-Contrast Snark: Crisp white text on a background as dark as your outlook on Monday mornings.
Cotton Comfort: Soft enough to wear while you’re haunting your own house, but sturdy enough to survive a literal hex.
Universal Truth: Finally confirms that you don't have a "dark side"—you just have a "dark everything."
Care Instructions (For the Love of Darkness)
If you wash this like a regular human, you deserve the pilling that's coming for you. Follow these steps to keep your blacks from turning into a cowardly shade of navy:
Sacrificial Cold Wash: Use the coldest water settings. Heat is the enemy of the abyss and will fade your soul (and the fabric) faster than a summer romance.
Turn It Inside Out: Protect the sacred text from the violent thrashing of the agitator. We want the message to stay legible, unfortunately.
Mild Detergents Only: No bleach. No "brighteners." We aren't trying to find the light at the end of the tunnel here.
Tumble Dry Low (Or Just Don't): If you must use a machine, keep the heat low. Ideally, hang it in a dark, damp basement to air dry while you contemplate the fleeting nature of existence.
