Price: Your attention span (if you can manage it).
Oh, look—the resident "misunderstood genius" has arrived. Since you’re an Aquarius, you probably think you’re too "eccentric" for a standard product description, so we made this one as weird as your search history. This shirt features a gothic water-bearer spilling cosmic secrets into the void, because let’s face it: you’re not pouring water, you’re pouring gasoline on the status quo.
It’s the perfect attire for someone living at 13 Blackheart Way who spends their time ghosting reality and befriending cryptids.
Why you’re buying this (don't lie):
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The "Out There" Aesthetic: A design so detached from mainstream society, it’s practically legally a citizen of another dimension.
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The Water-Bearer: Symbolizing your ability to carry everyone’s emotional baggage and then dump it out when you get bored.
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Detached Energy: The fabric is breathable, allowing the cold air to hit your skin so you can feel as distant as you actually are.
Product Features
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100% Ring-Spun Cotton: Soft enough to remind you that you are, unfortunately, still tethered to a human body.
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Shoulder-to-Shoulder Taping: Keeps the shirt together while your radical new world-order theories fall apart.
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Quarter-Turned: To avoid a crease down the center, because the only thing allowed to be divided here is your personality.
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Tear-away Label: Because we know you can't stand being restricted by "the system" or a scratchy piece of nylon.
Care Instructions (For the Space Cadet)
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Wash Cold: Warm water is too conventional. Keep it chilly, like your response to an "I miss you" text.
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Launder with Other Dark Shadows: Don't mix this with neon; it has an image to maintain.
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Tumble Dry Low: Or don't. Gravity is just a suggestion anyway, right?
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Do Not Iron: If you see a wrinkle, just call it "abstract art" and move on.
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Avoid Social Interaction: This isn't a care instruction for the shirt, it’s just a lifestyle recommendation for you.
EU representative: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY
Product information: Bella+Canvas 3001, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999/44/EC
Warnings, Hazard: For adults, Blank product sourced from Honduras
Care instructions: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), Non-chlorine: bleach as needed, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: medium heat, Do not dryclean
