Because sometimes it’s too hot for long sleeves, but never too hot to be spiritually compromised. This is the summer-weight version of your favorite "wellness plan." It’s designed for the witch who wants to feel the sun on their skin while their mind is currently exploring the outer rings of Saturn.
Featuring the same high-effort instruction: "Let's get baked at 420 for 1 hour repeat as needed." It’s the perfect attire for a backyard ritual, a hazy festival, or just sitting on your porch wondering if the birds are judging your life choices (they are).
The "Low-Res" Details
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Short Sleeves: For maximum mobility when reaching for the bag of chips or performing a very uncoordinated banishing ritual.
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Goth-Lite Vibe: It’s still black, because we have standards. It just lets a little more light in—not that you asked for it.
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Breathable Fabric: Essential for when the "baking" process gets a little too literal and you start to overheat.
Why You Need the Short Sleeve Version
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Versatility: Easy to layer under a flannel when the "paranoia chills" set in, or wear alone when you’re pretending to be a functioning member of society.
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Public Service: It acts as a helpful reminder to your friends. If you stop talking for twenty minutes, they can just read your shirt to remember what happened to you.
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Summer Goth Approved: Because dying of heatstroke isn't as "aesthetic" as you think it is.
The "Paranoid Warlock" Review
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
"I bought this because the instructions were clear, but now I’m concerned the shirt is actually a sentient cooking familiar trying to gaslight me. I stayed 'baked' for the full hour as directed, but then I spent forty-five minutes trying to explain the concept of 'linear time' to my cat. The long sleeves are great for hiding the fact that I’m vibrating at a different frequency than the rest of the kitchen. 10/10, would repeat as needed, but I think my oven is judging my snack choices." — DreadLord_420
| |
XS |
S |
M |
L |
XL |
2XL |
3XL |
4XL |
| Width, in |
16.50 |
18.00 |
20.00 |
22.00 |
24.00 |
26.00 |
28.00 |
30.00 |
| Length, in |
27.00 |
28.00 |
29.00 |
30.00 |
31.00 |
32.00 |
33.00 |
34.00 |
| Sleeve length, in |
8.60 |
8.90 |
9.20 |
9.50 |
9.70 |
10.00 |
10.40 |
10.80 |
| Size tolerance, in |
1.50 |
1.50 |
1.50 |
1.50 |
1.50 |
1.50 |
1.50 |
1.50 |
EU representative: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY
Product information: Bella+Canvas 3001, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999/44/EC
Warnings, Hazard: For adults, Blank product sourced from Honduras
Care instructions: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), Non-chlorine: bleach as needed, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: medium heat, Do not dryclean
