Oh, look. Another person who thinks their soul is a "balance of ferocity and freedom." Groundbreaking.
We took the two most overused tropes in the history of gas station apparel—the eagle and the wolf—and gave them a digital makeover so you can pretend you’re "alternative" instead of just nostalgic for 1994. It’s hand-drawn on a high-end tablet, because nothing says "I’ve given up on society" like spending four hours shading the existential dread in a wolf’s eyes.
The Vibe
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Aggressively Goth: It’s black. Obviously. It matches your coffee, your sense of humor, and the void where your productivity used to be.
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Technically Artistic: Look at those lines. That’s digital precision, baby. No crusty iron-ons here—just pure, unadulterated angst rendered in 4K.
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Nature, but Spooky: Because a regular bird and dog weren't "deep" enough for your aesthetic.
Why You Need It
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Zero Conversation Required: The eagle screams "I need space" so you don't have to.
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Instant Edge: Instantly upgrades you from "person in a grocery store" to "person who definitely has a curated playlist of industrial metal."
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Versatility: Pairs perfectly with combat boots, ripped denim, or the crushing weight of your own irony.
"It’s not just a shirt; it’s a warning label for your personality."
Care Instructions for the Perpetually Gloomy
Since you’ve spent your hard-earned cash on a shirt that perfectly encapsulates your inner turmoil, you might as well make it last longer than your last existential crisis. Treat it with more care than you treat your social life.
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Wash Cold: Like your heart. High heat will ruin the digital precision of the wolf’s snout and shrink the shirt down to a size only your regrets can fit into.
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Turn Inside Out: Protect the art from the abrasive reality of the washing machine. It’s a metaphor for how you hide your true self from the world.
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Dry Flat or Tumble Dry Low: Avoid high heat unless you want the eagle to look like a shriveled raisin. Air drying is preferred—just let it hang in a dark corner, much like you do on weekends.
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Do Not Iron the Print: Nothing ruins "dark and edgy" faster than a giant, melted plastic smear of an eagle’s wing. If you must iron, do it on the reverse side while questioning your life choices.
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No Bleach: We’re going for "Goth Chic," not "Accidental Tie-Dye." Keep it black.
| |
S |
M |
L |
XL |
2XL |
3XL |
4XL |
| Width, in |
18.25 |
20.25 |
22.00 |
24.00 |
26.00 |
27.75 |
29.75 |
| Length, in |
26.62 |
28.00 |
29.37 |
30.75 |
31.62 |
32.50 |
33.50 |
| Sleeve length from center back, in |
16.25 |
17.75 |
19.00 |
20.50 |
21.75 |
23.25 |
24.63 |
| Size tolerance, in |
1.50 |
1.50 |
1.50 |
1.50 |
1.50 |
1.50 |
1.50 |
EU representative: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY
Product information: Comfort Colors® 1717, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999/44/EC
Warnings, Hazard: For adults, Made in Honduras
Care instructions: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), Do not bleach, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: low heat, Do not dryclean
